For what it’s worth .. I did it. I kept a secret. S4E06 — Background Check

Background Check. Having someone scanning your looks, your past and perhaps even your past. I admit, it’s a cruel vision to get a background check, but it happens all the time. With the right tools, it’s not longer a nightmare looming over us, it’s reality. As of right now, at least some kind of intelligence scans my desperate tries to craft a sound piece of article here, monitoring all the back and forth, ideas being born and deleted half way. Can you actually measure the desperation that goes into crafting a story by measuring the hesitancy of new words getting typed or the assurance and speed of the backspace key roaming over an incoherent text?

A lot of thoughts are in my mind right now, and the overlying wish for an empathetic listener is clearly pounding in my chest. Today, I have the rare feeling that I can be my own empathetic listener today. While I am usually missing someone special to take care of me on a day like this one, it’s different today. I know I can do this myself.

I am watching myself struggle in a very specific part of my life, and I listen. But I am not keeping it a secret. I am talking about it, with friends and also with myself. And right now, I can accept not crafting another useful article here and just let it be. For the sake of accepting whatever should happen right now instead.

Writer. Editor. Thinker. Fighting with the alligator within.