Everyday I remember that being alive is enough. Enough.
A meditation on letting go and allowing myself to arrive
I start to smirk and notice a subtle nervousness in my stomach. Unsure of the situation, I start to smile, primarily to elicit relaxation from the nervous tension. It just happened again, a good friend has once again caught me in my stuck patterns. Her observations allow me to breathe, to gather myself and to re-evaluate. What has she said again?
Allow yourself to arrive in the situation.
Speaking from our hearts
Honestly, I have no clue what the situation was about. All I know is that the conversation happened during one of our private podcast-episodes.
Consider it a successfully established allowance among friends to have deep and meaningful communication via audio messages, which can be up to 30 or 40 minutes long. Conversations that span a few days and allow each of us to reflect and think out loud our thoughts and feelings, fears and worries, while dreaming our biggest dreams. Hopes and dreams that we rarely dare to dream alone, certainly not in front of other people. Even if those people are our best friends.
Whilst talking about our daily lifes, highs and lows or whatever comes to our minds, we seem to wander off to a point where we simply let go of things. It doesn’t matter where they come from; behavioural emotional or cognitive thought patterns we’re accustomed to and can’t yet let go of, or one of these classic statements by a random person that seem to be stuck in our heads and hearts. We let go. We dismantle these restrictions and free ourselves.
It may not seem to be a mindful activity ..
At least for the friend who is starting to wander off whilst talking him/herself into a sometimes nebulous, misty forest of words. That’s exactly what happened to me in that situation. Unsure of my own position, I needed stability, orientation and a direction to move forward; and that’s where the other person comes in.
For the listener of these podcast episodes, it is very much a mindful activity. When I am listening, I listen carefully with my eyes closed, as I expect to be taken on a journey into the mind and heart of my friend. I feel, I think, I perceive things exactly as she does. I am staying grounded.
.. but we’re getting mindful advice
However, in this specific situation, my friend stayed grounded, listened and gave me the advice you have already read.
Allow yourself to arrive in the situation.
I am currently practising to arrive in the situation I am in.
But this time, the situation does not have to be negatively coloured due to a certain problem or fundamental injustice that makes me feel the need to stomp on the ground, shout loudly and fight back. Although I seem to be able to develop a lot of strength in situations like these, and they certainly enable me to pour out my heart passionately and to relieve me insanely, it’s not what I intend to do again.
I am currently practising to arrive in the situation I am in.
“Could he actually write about something positive instead?”, doubtful readers might ask, barely raising an eyebrow before jumping ahead to the next paragraph or next meaningful headline. Well, in case you chose to keep reading, I am capable of writing positive and optimistic articles as well. But it’s not what I intend to do again.
I am currently practising to arrive in the situation I am in.
Whatever it may be, and however trivial or irrelevant it might seem to be. There might not be a lot of things happening right now, but it’s a special challenge for me to accept that. It’s a subtle change in perception that opens up a multitude of opportunities to arrive in all these small situations day by day.
They don’t have to be labelled as good or bad, positive or negative, and certainly not as boring/non-stressful or stressful. All too soon I find myself looking for entertainment, trouble, or simple reasons to strive. It’s a storm in a tea cup, again and again and again. It doesn’t serve me, and I have to let it go.
Everyday I remember that being alive is enough. Enough.
I came across this powerful statement while I was preparing for my mindfulness teacher training. It helps me at this very moment to resist the striving. It reminds me that it does not matter what I am doing today, whether I am achieving something or not; it reminds me that I am enough.
Sometimes it’s hard to remind myself of this relieving perspective. If I could only had a good friend who was on my side to support me, to stabilize me and give me direction. If I could only have this compass that would lead me through blackest night and brightest day. Too often I forget that I always have this compass with me, and that I actually carry it inside of me.
It’s a calm but steady voice, balanced and peaceful, open-minded and careful. A good friend who is always on my side, ready to go, ready to soothe, ready to be. Every time it starts to get louder around me, every time it gets louder in my head, every time I find myself in a nebulous, misty forest of tension, thoughts or emotions ..
I start to smirk and notice a subtle nervousness in my stomach. Unsure of the situation, I start to smile, primarily to elicit relaxation from the nervous tension. It just happened again, a good friend has once again caught me in my stuck patterns. Her observations allow me to breathe, to gather myself and to re-evaluate. What has she said again?
Allow yourself to arrive in the situation.
